He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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