I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
