Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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