is your mom at the bar?
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
