When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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