Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
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I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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