My sheets look like a crime scene.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Randomize
