im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize
