addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
