i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
dude. I can hear the air.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
