i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
