Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
They took my balls.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
