I accidentally had phone sex last night
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
