Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
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We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
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He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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