I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
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The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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