So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
