Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
