I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Randomize