She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
