Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
