They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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