Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
