If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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