so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
