theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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