his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
