He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i now understand why vodka
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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