$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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