i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
