the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Floor bacon is actually really good
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
