3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Randomize
