That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
