you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
