I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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