a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
