the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
