Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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