Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
