You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
