I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
