I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
