who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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