theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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