dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
