The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Randomize
