He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
