i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
