If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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