What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
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