We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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