Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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