Yo dont text me then not text me
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
