Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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