I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
