In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
