i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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