Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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