3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
