i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
