We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
