and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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