Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
