There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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