I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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