You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
