I CAN MOONWALK!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
