She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
