This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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