im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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